Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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