he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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