So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
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