I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
