i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
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We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
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my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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