Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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