Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
