I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
