Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
