there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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