If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize