Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
