I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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