And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
