I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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