and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
