they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I think I am morally bankrupt
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
