think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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