would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
accomplished twins. life is a go
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
