Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
