I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
People in love make me want to vomit
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
last night I used snow as a chaser
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
