Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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