It's like God shit irony all over that family
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
