I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
