whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i may or may not be watching the land before time
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
