I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
