If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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