i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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