he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
My ass is underappreciated
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
