Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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