I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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