too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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