so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
