4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
