The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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