I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Randomize
