So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
