Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Did I show you my penis last night?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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