I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
