We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
