I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
