i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
