Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
