I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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