Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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