this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Redeem this text for a blowjob
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
