Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
