summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
