You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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