I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize