Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
