If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
