i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
