He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
