He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
