no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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