R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
