if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
birth control should be required to get into college
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I have fence marks all over my body
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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