Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
kristin has been a bad kristin
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
