My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
