you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
you inspire me to be a worse person
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
