I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
