I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
