let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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