in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
