I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
