i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
