I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
